March Third Idiot

Three heat.

2005-05-21T15:17:00.000-07:00

I'm doing this just so I can get a third post in that has to do with heat. Working again in an hour and a half. Must eat. Still no word from Trek. I'm wating with bait that smells like bait. Also, this site doesn't hold time for shit. I've always got to reset it. I'ts making me mad. Don't expect my times to be accurate at all from here on out. To all none of you who read this.

Hot.

2005-05-20T00:31:00.000-07:00

I'ts hot in my appartment. I turned the breaker off to the AC and dick face mcgee wants to know why why when he puts the thermostat on 50 it doesn't get past 80. Which is ok because he's a dick and is moving out. And is a dick. Can I say it anymore. I don't really use this thing anymore. Can you tell? I've got a potential job in KC over the summer instead of Stage Pro. But the chick didn't call me back yesterday and now I'm telling Stage Pro I'm not working for them two days before they expect me to start. Which blows. In the past, I've had people from Utah stay with me. It was funny to see Heather drink beer that was 6 percent when she was used to 3.2. One and a half did her in. Kelly I'm sorry I havn't gotten back to you at all. I've been super buisy and don't forsee getting any less buisy. That holds true for all of you. I've got to work at 8am tomorrow so I think I'm going to drink some sleepytime and hit the hay. Cam.

The heat is on in Saigon.

2005-04-07T02:15:00.001-07:00

Welcome to the pants party. I'm tired. I need some time to catch up. I'm thinking of buying a new bike. I need to check my bank account and get my deposit back from nextel. Because it's alot of cash. And should I put it twoards the chrome bike, or buying the fisher 29er? Is burger king open 24 hours? I'm going to find out. Later.

Ralph Waldo: Speed dial #3

2005-03-27T23:55:00.000-08:00

What's up with all this pressure to update? Here's a recap of the last what I can remember. 2-3 weeks ago was rock chalk review, which was running spot light for greeks who think they can sing and dance. Also was staying up until 4 am having the best time I've ever had with people at and from work. I feel that I am much closer to these people. Despite me still not getting the hours I want from them. Then spring break. In California. Which was a week with the biggest baby on the earth Danny Shaw. Who can't understand that no matter what lane you're in LA traffic isn't going anywhere, or that catchphrase is a great game to play while drinking and who cares if I cheat. So many times I've heard that I am the largest dick on the planet. I hope his balls never drop as that would result in having no more fun making fun of him. Other than that we got in to Disneyland for free and got to see Christine Polek, which was a ball. I enjoyed seeing her again and riding that roller coaster four times before the park closed. Also involved was Sandiego, Jessica Bird, attempting to get into a bar using a piece of paper, Beach, Learning that 3ft waves are small and unsurfable, finding the guy I'd most like living with if I were to move there except there would need to be a garage involved, which would probably mean winning the lotery. Also a drunk call from Jake Walker wishing me a happy something that sounded like birthday but was not clear between slurred sylables. I don't have the stamina to write more. Plus if I wrote more people like me would get bored and not read it because it involves things that require thought and are long. TChb which means to continued silent h be. Maybe.

Ask.

2005-02-26T23:26:00.000-08:00

So my lack of any response at all is making me think no one reads this. So since my weeks are pretty much filled with sleaping and work, I'll stop. If you feel the need to have me keep up whatever kind of work you see here leave me a post, let me know. Cam.

The way you would speak in all that we wouldn't say.

2005-02-13T02:30:00.000-08:00

I am complete. But I still need. No matter how badly I wish I didn't. How can I be complete if I feel I need. I don't need anything, any one, I only want. Want hurts. Want doesn't even hurt in the way damn that sucks. But it hurts because it could be so much better. How I only want.

Judy was a teenage rebel. She did it with a boy when she was young.

2005-02-11T00:27:00.000-08:00

I'm really trying to have some kind of a life outside of work. I don't think it's working very well. I think I didn't have any fun tonight because I wasn't drunk. Or even attempted to drink. I drove. Which was good I guess. I'm not getting hardly any school work done. And for not getting any work done I'm being quite anti social. I'm working more. Which is good I guess. I don't really work at any one place enough to get any joy out of it. And one of the people I work for isn't helping me become any more of a happy person. Fuck this. I need to do something. Something radical. Something that will be so fulfilling I'll never be able to look back. I've got no one left here who truly understands me. It's time I do something to truely understand myself. Cam.

Thank you Rick.

2005-02-09T20:30:00.000-08:00

The past weeks have been full of damn near everything under the sun. Except school. I've blown off two of my classes completely this week. And it'll happen again. I took a job in Manhattan next Friday, which is the same 16 hour show that I'll be working in Lawrence the very next day. And the following Monday-Wednsday will be spent in AHT. Fun. Last Saturday night was spent getting stoned with Rick, Deacon, Ann and Jill. And Rick decided he needed to expose me to the ever flat world of opium. And somehow Abby spent the night. Though neither one of us are sure how it happened. Which was nice because now I've got this crush on a way hot chick and she pretty much knows it, and I'm also sure she knows how to use it against me. However through the passing week I've figured out that my desire to reach out to someone genuine will not be achieved by not remembering one night stands. Though I wish that she would be authentic with me.... I'm not sure if authentic is the word I'm looking for. I wish she could know me for me, and not the boy she can manipulate. Hmmmmm. Laaaaasssst niiight IIII dreamt.... thaaaaat soomebodddy loooooved meeee. Thank you Morrisy. Right now I'm slipping in and out of seeing this. Because she's so good at what she does... I can't really prove it. But there is nothing solid to stand on either.

2005-02-02T14:25:00.000-08:00

"In what concerns you much,

do not think that you have companions:

know that you are alone in the world."Thoreau.

Sans Title

2005-02-02T09:37:00.000-08:00

The past two days have been better. I am however still filled with a huge amount of bitterness toward just about everything. I got out of my appartment last night and went climbing for the first time this semester. It felt pretty good since there were no bad asses trying to do the impossible, so I could do pretty much what I wanted. I think I might make Tuesday night my climbing night. I also pretty much told KU Cycling to go fuck themselves yesterday. I also got two flat tires in one day, both of them were in the front. I about threw my bike across the parking lot. Who gets two flat tires on their front wheel in one day? I want Stage Pro to get buisy so I can have a life again. I'm tired of being supportive on.... James and Kelly. I had a huge conversation with Whitney Last night and even though there were other people in the room I felt like we just hit the same wavelength and it didn't matter who was there. I think it was the highlight of my night. She also gave me a ride home. I think I found a new friend.

Early to class.

2005-01-31T01:48:00.000-08:00

I was early to class today. A whole hour and a half. I went to Chicago this weekend with James and Kelly, which only drove home the fact that I don't have that kind of relationship with anyone here. Not even remotely. The only person left in the country I'd come close to calling my friend or understanding me is also the largest flake in the country and has proven completely unreliable. So I think I'm going to stop trying. With Kate at least. Theres got to be someone out there who I can rely on, right? Intrapersonal communication. I'm supposed to be finding myself here. I think I'm finding a place to be cought up in. Some place that can occupy time until I go absolutley stir-crazy. I"m completely desperate for understanding. I think at this point in time anyone who reaches out and will think I'm a nut. I even feel my relationships with people I once had a great deal of respect for are slipping. My work ethic is declining, I'm not really doing anything for the enjoyment of it anymore. I come home from one of two classes and watch comedy central, which is completely un-funny. I get irate at people over nothing. I don't enjoy watching movies. Over all I think my life is on a complete down slope.

Wake up James.

2005-01-27T18:42:00.000-08:00

James needs to wake up. Kelly is here and she doesn't talk to me long. So entertain her. And I'm starting a collection today for anyone who wants to contribute. It's to fly myself to spain. Please donate in thousand dollar incriments. I need to go over spring break I hope. I'm supposed to be going to Chicago with my roomate and Kelly. I don't want to now. I'm sure I'll write more later. I've got alot going on next week. I'd rather be in spain. Cam.

Save Becka.... Similar to Ferris.

2005-01-27T18:33:00.000-08:00

This is to start my website. Weeeee!